5 Ways to Grow in Spiritual Intimacy

This article will help you grow in spiritual intimacy as a couple by studying the Bible together, joining a biblical community, attending church regularly, serving together, and establishing a routine of praying together, all of which will deepen your relationship with Jesus and each other.

Updated January 24, 2023

During engagement, we often think about (and talk about) sexual intimacy in marriage. While sexual intimacy is important, spiritual intimacy will serve as a stronger foundation for your marriage.

Spiritual intimacy is simply growing in your relationship with Jesus. In marriage, spiritual intimacy is growing in your relationship with Jesus together.

Here are 5 ways to grow in spiritual intimacy:

1. Bible Study

Understanding God's Word Together

God reveals Himself to us through His Word. As we read and study our Bible together, we grow in intimacy with each other and with God. Diving into scriptures as a couple not only deepens our understanding of His divine wisdom but also aligns our lives and marriage according to His will.

Scriptures like Ephesians 5:25-33 offer profound insights into how spouses should love and respect each other, mirroring Christ's love for the Church.

Implementing Scripture in Daily Life

Integrating biblical principles into our daily lives strengthens our bond and keeps our marriage rooted in Christ. Reflecting on verses like Ecclesiastes 4:12, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken," reminds us of the strength and resilience that comes from a marriage centered around God.

Regularly discussing and applying these teachings helps in making decisions that honor both our spouse and God.

Memorizing Scripture

Committing scripture to memory is a powerful way to keep God's word close to your heart. Challenge each other to memorize verses that resonate with your relationship. This not only becomes a spiritual exercise but also a way to encourage and uplift each other with God's promises. Verses like 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 on love can be particularly meaningful for couples to memorize and recite to each other.

Discussing Biblical Characters and Stories

The Bible is full of stories about relationships, both romantic and otherwise, that offer valuable lessons for couples today. Discussing the lives of biblical characters, such as Ruth and Boaz or Abraham and Sarah, allows couples to glean insights into how faith, trust, and commitment play pivotal roles in a relationship. These discussions can lead to valuable lessons about love, sacrifice, communication, and God's overarching plan for marriage.

If you want extra credit, each year in January we go through the Bible, cover-to-cover, in 30 days. We'd love for you to join us!

2. Joining Biblical Community

Finding Strength in Fellowship

Being part of a Biblical community means more than just attending events; it's about building relationships with those who share your faith. Acts 2:42 highlights the early believers' dedication to fellowship, teaching, and prayer.

Engaging in a community that values these principles strengthens your marriage and deepens your faith.

Small Groups and Couple Ministries

Joining a small group or couples ministry provides a more intimate setting for growth and support. These groups often address specific aspects of marriage and faith, offering a space for honest conversation, prayer, and mutual encouragement.

Mentoring and Being Mentored

Consider finding a more seasoned Christian couple to mentor you. Similarly, be open to mentoring younger couples. Titus 2:3-5 encourages older men and women to teach the younger. This reciprocal relationship enriches your own understanding and application of biblical principles in marriage (this is one reason we started Love Your First Year!).

Volunteering and Community Service

Engaging in service projects together not only benefits those you help but also strengthens your bond as a couple. Serving aligns your actions with Jesus' teachings and fosters a sense of purpose and togetherness. More on this one below.

Participating in Church Activities

Whether it's retreats, workshops, or social events, actively participating in church activities allows you to grow spiritually in a community setting. These activities can be opportunities to learn new perspectives and deepen your connection with other believers.

We talk a lot more about spiritual intimacy, particularly praying together, in our online premarital course.

3. Attending Church

Commitment to Weekly Worship

Making a commitment to attend church every week, even on days when you may not feel like it, is a testament to your dedication to God and each other. Hebrews 10:25 encourages us not to give up meeting together, but to encourage one another. Regular church attendance strengthens your spiritual foundation and unity as a couple.

Engaging with Sermons and Teachings

Actively listen and engage with the sermons and teachings. Discussing the message afterwards can provide deeper insights and practical applications in your marriage. This shared spiritual learning experience can be a significant source of growth and inspiration.

Participating in Communion

Participating in communion and other church sacraments together reinforces the sacred nature of your marriage. These acts of worship symbolize a deeper connection with Christ and with each other, fostering a sense of unity and spiritual intimacy.

Building Relationships within the Church Community

Getting to know other members of your church community can lead to meaningful friendships and support networks. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Building these relationships can provide encouragement and wisdom in your marital journey.

4. Serving Together

Following Christ's Example of Service

Embracing the call to serve is not just an act of charity, but a way to emulate Christ's love and humility. As stated in Matthew 20:28, Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. By serving together, couples can grow closer to Christ and each other, living out their faith in practical ways.

Identifying Shared Passions for Service

Explore areas of service that resonate with both of you. It could be helping at a local food bank, participating in community clean-ups, or aiding a church outreach program. Shared service projects can strengthen your bond and give a sense of shared purpose.

Learning and Growing Through Service

Each act of service is an opportunity to learn new things about each other and about the needs of those you are helping. It's a journey of growth, not just in your relationship with each other, but also in your understanding and compassion for the world around you.

5. Praying Together

Overcoming the Awkwardness of Shared Prayer

It's normal for praying together to feel a bit awkward initially, especially when praying out loud. But remember, this is a safe space to be vulnerable with each other and with God. James 5:16 reminds us to confess our sins to each other and pray for each other, so that we may be healed.

Establishing a Regular Prayer Routine

Set aside a specific time each day or week for shared prayer. This consistency helps in building a strong habit of praying together and ensures that both partners are committed to this spiritual practice.

Using Scripture in Prayer

Incorporate scripture into your prayers. This can be a powerful way to pray, as you're using God's own words. Verses like Philippians 4:6-7, which encourage us not to be anxious but to present our requests to God, can be a great starting point.

Reflecting on Answered Prayers

Regularly reflect on and give thanks for answered prayers. This builds faith and gratitude, and it's a powerful reminder of God's faithfulness and involvement in your lives.

God gives us the gift of intimacy with Him, and when we draw near to Him, we strengthen our marriage.

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